Thoughts on Therapy Consultations (and how to get ready for one)
Therapy can be a transformational, life changing process. However, before you jump full in, and before you fill out a bunch of paperwork and pay for a full length therapy appointment, it’s a good idea to take advantage of the free consultation most mental health therapists are offering nowadays.
Understandably, it can be tempting to rush ahead and want to go all in. You’re seeking therapy for a reason, and the faster you get moving toward healing, the better. Right?!?!?
But hold on - consider for a moment the idea that the consultation could actually be just as important as therapy itself. For one thing, it’s an obligation free opportunity to be sure you really want to move forward with a given therapist - because choosing the right one for yourself matters.
A Therapy Consultation Can Help You Decide Whether the Therapist is the Right Fit For You
When working with a therapist “fit” is very important. Did you know there are studies which have shown that the therapeutic relationship you develop with your therapist is one of the most effective and healing aspects in terms of realizing a successful therapy outcome? In fact, it can matter more than any type of degree or special training the therapist might have. While this doesn’t mean skill and education are irrelevant or unimportant, comfort with who the therapist is as a person is critical.
You aren’t going to click with every therapist. Each one has a different style and their own unique personality. And the only way to know if it’s truly a good match is to speak directly with them. You maybe have already visited their website to check them out. Perhaps you’ve scrolled the social media pages for their practice. Maybe you’ve watched a video, too. You could feel pretty confident that you’ve done your due diligence and that you have found the right one. More than likely, the initial consultation will further confirm this for you. Then again, it may not. After all, talking with someone is not the same as watching them talk to you on a video. What if they talk over you while you’re trying to speak? What if it feels like they’re dismissive of your concerns? What if you have a question - and their answer doesn’t match what you’re looking for?
Use the opportunity to be sure that the therapist is who you need. Think about the following:
Do you feel comfortable and safe speaking to the therapist?
Does the therapist make you feel welcomed?
Would you feel okay telling this therapist personal stuff? Keep in mind, that it will be normal if you feel you don’t want to give away all your secrets right away. It does take time for trust to develop.
Is there a schedule match? What hours and days does the therapist offer appointments, and will you be available during those times?
What is your overall gut feeling?
A Therapy Consultation Allows the Therapist to Confirm Whether or Not They Can Help You
A therapist is there to help you and most will want to be sure they can do that before you start paying them for care. Consider that every person is incredibly unique. You have your own personal history that is unlike that of anyone else. Your challenges will impact you differently than they might another person. You may or may not have obtained treatment before, further individualizing your past experience and insight. And as life tends to be quite complex, you are likely dealing with your own personalized stressors and reality. Essentially, you are more than a simple diagnosis, and so being able to speak with you allows the potential therapist a chance to find out more specifically about how something is presenting for you and what you personally may need/want - which helps the therapist clarify whether or not they feel clinically competent to assist you.
An initial consultation is a chance for you, as a potential client, to briefly and confidentially share information so that the therapist may better understand what you’re facing and how it is impacting you. Your consultation gives the therapist a chance to gauge whether or not they feel they have the skill and knowledge you require. They are trying to answer some important questions - can I help you with the problem you’re seeking therapy for? Or do I think another provider might be a better fit for you?
Eleven Tips to Help You Get Ready For Your Therapy Consultation
Before your consultation, consider whether there are any questions you might want to get an answer to.
Are you worried the therapist may judge you? Do you want to know if the therapist has ever gone to therapy themselves? Do you want to know why they became a therapist? This is your chance to find out anything which you feel is important and which you think might help you decide if this therapist is going to be your therapist. Spend some time thinking about what you may want to know. What actually matters to you?
Consider, too, why you want to know something - why is important and what difference do you think it would make in your treatment? Keep in mind that therapy sessions are about “you” and so some personal information about the therapist won’t necessarily matter (and many therapists do prefer to keep private stuff private - they will set a healthy boundary). Remember, also, that therapists are specially trained to be neutral in session and they actively work to not impose their values or beliefs on you.
Think about what goal(s) you may want to achieve as the therapist may ask you what you’re hoping to work toward.
This is another way the therapist can assess to ensure that they can help you with what you need/want. How will you know therapy has worked? What is the outcome you want to achieve? What will be different for you if therapy is a success? Be prepared to share what you want to happen as a result of attending therapy.
Be ready to talk about what problems you’re experiencing.
The therapist will be seeking a brief snapshot of what is bringing you to therapy in order to determine if they are clinically able to address your concerns. They will likely ask you about what’s happening, how often it’s happening, how long it’s been happening, and what else you may have tried in order to resolve it. If you’re nervous, it can help to practice what you’re going to say. You don’t have to have a perfect statement. Just do your best to express what prompted you to seek help. The therapist will ask questions if they need to know more.
Make sure you have a quiet, private space for your appointment.
Ensure you won’t be interrupted. Do what is needed to avoid any distractions. No other individuals should be in the room during your session. Be sure there is adequate lighting so that the therapist can see you. Think about setting up your space to include water, comfortable seating, a favorite blanket or pillow, etc.
For your online therapy consultation, test your connection beforehand and get your tech ready.
Use an ethernet cable if you have one. Make sure your device is fully charged before the session begins, or plugged in. Turn off ALL notifications, texts, email alerts, etc. Exit out of any programs which use bandwidth and ensure nobody in your home is streaming videos or games which may impact your connection. Stabilize your device rather than holding it in your hand or putting it in your lap. While your phone might meet all requirements, you might want to use a larger screen such as a tablet or computer to get the most out of your session and to clearly see the therapist. Use of headphones with a microphone is recommended to ensure confidentiality. This may also help ensure the therapist hears you clearly.
Understand that this is not a clinical appointment.
This means that the therapist won’t be diagnosing you or making any clinical recommendations. The therapist just wants a general overview to ensure they are able to assist you going forward and to give you a chance to meet them. Don’t expect the therapist to give you any tips or “tricks” as that is not what the consultation if for.
Be on time.
There are likely appointments before and after yours. So if you’re late, your therapist cannot extend your time. If you don’t arrive on time, the meeting will likely be rushed.
Remember there is no obligation.
You are not committed to begin therapy if you don’t want to. The therapist offers you the consultation knowing how important it is to find the right fit and has the expectation that not everyone will become a client.
It’s normal to be nervous during the appointment.
And it can take courage to reach out for help. Be mindful that, if you move forward with the therapist, you’ll get more comfortable with them over time.
Bring your schedule with you.
If you decide you do want to begin the paperwork and want to set up your full-length intake, then having your calendar at hand so that you may make the appointment will be helpful. If you feel good about the therapist, it can be beneficial to you to keep the momentum going and get the next meeting booked. Otherwise, it’s too easy to find yourself still sitting in the same place months from now instead of proactively making progress toward your goals. Getting your appointment scheduled at your consultation is the best way to safeguard from letting life distract you from taking action.
Finally, cancel your consultation if you can’t make it or change your mind.
The therapist will greatly appreciate it if you let them know you need to cancel. Otherwise, they will be sitting there waiting for you. Also, remember that when you reserve a spot of your therapist’s calendar, no other clients have access to that time. Cancelling if you can’t make it allows those clients to be seen.