Standing for Your Marriage

Staying True to Your Marriage Vow to Your Spouse and God . . . . Till Death

Are you standing for your marriage and staying faithful to the promises you made?

A stander is an individual who remains faithfully committed to the sacred covenant vow they made with their spouse and with God. It isn’t what the world tells you to do. The world tells you to focus on you and whatever makes you happy. Which usually means abandoning your spouse to chase “happiness” in someone and/or something else.

Unfortunately, many don’t realize the grass is rarely greener (spoiler: second marriages fail at an even higher rate!). Many people who give up on their marriage later report a lot of regrets - both in the decision itself, as well as in not having tried harder to work things out. Usually, many come to find out the grass on the other side is actually brown, dead, and worse than they could have imagined.

So consider, do you want to follow the world . . . or God?

Will you truly follow the commands of Jesus? He tells us clearly that if we genuinely love Him, we will do as He says. Which side will you choose? It matters . . . for so many reasons!

A stander knows that marriage is not a man-made contract. It is a sacred vow and promise. A covenant. The only thing which ends it is death. There are NO exception clauses - do not be fooled by those seeking loopholes!

A stander knows that keeping your word to God is very important. And, too, that the bible promises challenges in marriage (so don’t be surprised by hard times!). Yet, we will realize blessings if we remain faithful and remember that God will come up behind us faithfully if we remain true to Him and our spouse.

A stander wholeheartedly believe that “what God has joined together, no human must separate (Mark 10:9).” A stander cannot find any peace in doing what God clearly tells us He hates. And ultimately, a person committed to their covenant spouse knows that God does not recognize a piece of paper that some person in a courthouse signed. Many people overlook and dismiss this truth as that eases their conscious. But don’t be fooled!

A cord of three-strands and a one-flesh connection is not easily broken. And a stander agrees with this truthful teaching: Only if you can be Unbaptized can you be Unmarried.

Further, once you have made your vows you are truly in a Spiritually binding covenant with the spouse of your youth (your first wife or husband). Man can make up all the laws he wants (meaning civil divorces) but man will never change God’s law. A bond which has been forged by God cannot be severed by any man. As long as there is breath in your lungs there is always potential for reconciliation. Nothing is ever too hard for God and all marriages (yes all!) can be reconciled. That is the heart of God.

Stander

/stand.er/

noun

A stander is a spouse who is choosing to obey God and remain faithful to their covenant and the promises they made.

They stand firm on the word and promises of God.

They pray for the restoration of their marriage. No matter what the world speaks.

They do not let divorce or “remarriage” end their prayers.

They refuse to harden their heart and pray for restoration with their covenant spouse.

Synonyms: enduring, patient, faithful, Godly, loyal, firm, loves unconditionally, forgiving

Support for Standers

Standing can be extremely difficult and unbelievably lonely. It likely will be the hardest and most painful thing you do in life. Many “good” people will discourage you and tell you to just give up. But know this . . . Jesus promised us that following Him won’t be easy. Yet, ultimately choosing to obey Jesus leads us on the narrow path and will always end well for us.

I am here to help support you through this challenging trial.

Being pulled from and kept apart from your one-flesh partner can result is deep emotional pain and can even cause physical symptoms and disease. A stander can endure grief, anxiety, depression, and trauma. There may be headaches, sleepless nights, stomach upset, weight loss, and other issues. It is truly little wonder God professes to hate the act of breaking up a marriage. It is heartbreaking in every sense of the word. A stander can feel like a piece of their heart and soul is missing. This is truly one of the most painful things to endure.

Now, perhaps more than ever, you need someone at your side.

Have you legalized your adultery yet?

This is truly an important question and a very critical thing to consider. So much depends on this

Please reflect on the words of Dr. Christine Bacon on this subject.

Running isn’t the answer.

Problems will only continue to chase you.

Every marriage will encounter trouble. There will inevitably be hard things, difficulties and disagreements. This does not mean that there is something wrong.

Instead, it is just the normal and natural pattern of being in a close, intimate relationship over a multitude of years. To believe otherwise is foolish. So essentially, every marriage will hit some major bump in the road which some might argue justifies divorce. But this should not be the solution.

It is important to recognize that problems are to be expected and are solvable. Always. It is critical, too, to bear in mind that the person who refuses to work through those challenges will simply encounter a new and different looking problem in future - because again, no relationship will be a forever fairytale devoid of challenges.

The person who runs and abandons their marriage, rather than sticking in place to work through things, will very likely be woefully disappointed and frustrated in the future. They leave their partner only to discover they experience similar (or worse) problems in their next relationship. And as statistics show, they will probably run yet again - second marriages fail at even higher rates because of this pattern of not being willing to forgive and problem solve.

In marriage, we need to learn to become better problem solvers - and we can! In marriage, we are to seek to be more like Christ. This is not easy. But we must remain steady in place and keep our vow to navigate the hard things. If we do, the rewards can be great!

Redemption and reconciliation is always possible. No matter what has happened. There is simply no problem too big or too insurmountable. If you say you believe in God, then why would you doubt Him capable of working miracles in your marriage? Are you saying you are a believer, but also saying your marriage is simply too hard for God . . . . He can do all things except cause a positive change in your marriage?

Just because “everyone else is doing it” does not make leaving your marriage right or good. How sensible is it to do something or be accepting of something simply because it’s become the norm? You rationally know not to apply this principle to jumping off a bridge - but too many people are hastily applying this to the most important relationship in their life. But God! With Him all things can be overcome. Knowing this, standing is the only option. And truthfully, married couples who stick together through the battle come out stronger, better, and happier.