is anxiety stealing your peace?

You’re always worried about something. This can’t be the way life is supposed to be?!?!

Anxiety no longer has to rule your life.

If You Have Anxiety You Might Experience All or Some of the Following:

• Excessive Worrying: Encountering some occasional worry is normal, but if you have an anxiety disorder the worry is far more constant and feels hard to get under control.

• Irrational Fear and Thoughts: Someone with anxiety may overestimate the probability of something bad happening and may believe things to be more threatening than they actually are. You may believe something truly awful will occur and that you will simply be unable to cope with it.

• Body Aches, Muscle Tension & Physical Symptoms: The discomfort and tension can show up in any part of your body. Anxiety could show up as a headache or backache. It could present as constant neck tension. You might find you’re battling the need to urinate frequently. Your mouth could be excessively dry or perhaps you find you’re always sweating a lot. The symptoms could be so persistent and frequent that you may have stopped noticing them.

• Perfectionism: Many people want to perform well. But you might believe who you are and everything you do is just never good enough. You expect yourself to be essentially flawless and you obsess over the smallest of details. You can’t stop wondering “what will they think of me?” and this just brings on even more anxiety. Perfectionism can be both a driver and a result of anxiety.

• Overachievement: You feel like you have to be the best at everything you do. You find that you tend to be very competitive. You’re always striving and feel the need to do and be more (because you think that who you really are just isn’t enough).

• Underachievement: You might avoid certain situations since you don’t want to disappoint yourself and others. You might believe you are just not smart enough or competent enough, so why even try.

• Trouble sleeping: You might have a hard time falling asleep or you can’t fall back asleep after waking up during the night because you just can’t shut your mind off. Feeling fatigue throughout your day has just became commonplace for you.

• Difficulty relaxing: You may not be able to relax and instead always feel like you have to be doing something. You have so much nervous tension and can’t bear to sit with your thoughts.

• Tendency to be Controlling: You may unconsciously seek to control or anticipate any changes in order to reduce anxiety. The unknown is just too much to handle so you want to plan as much as possible so you know what to expect.

• Being Critical: You have a harsh inner critic. You have high expectations not only for yourself, but for other people, too.

If you’re experiencing anxiety, some of these might be familiar to you:

• Avoiding going out and isolating yourself more and more. The risk of rejection and of encountering problems just feels too high.

• Wanting to avoid people (in general and/or wanting to avoid certain people).

• Avoiding people you believe don’t like you.

• Apologizing when you don’t need to.

• Constantly seeking reassurance and praise.

• Going along with stuff when you really don’t want to.

• Constantly comparing yourself to others.

• Selecting less busy times to go places such as the mall or grocery stores.

• Shopping at smaller stores because there are less people or avoiding smaller shops because there are less people around and you worry there will be too much focus placed on you by the staff.

• Only going places when you have someone else to go with you because you feel you “need” them. You cling to others and rely on them for greater security.

• Making plans to leave early before you even arrive at your destination.

• Drinking an excess of alcohol or other substances to help lower your stress and to make it easier to interact with people.

• Finding your fear triggers you to have angry outbursts or to be hyper-critical (of yourself, of others, and of the world around you).

Is Something Wrong with Me Because I Have Anxiety?

Absolutely not! Anxiety is actually the most common mental health concern in the United States, affecting approximately 40 million people each year. So, you are not alone. This happens to a lot of people.

We all experience some level of anxiety now and again. That’s normal and you shouldn’t expect to never have any anxiety at all. Actually, some anxiety is good for you.

Research shows us that anxiety can bring our awareness to a situation in our life which needs extra attention. It can be a catalyst to propel us to make changes if things are getting off track. Your job, for example, might be contributing to your anxiety. This could prompt you to re-examine your career and you could potentially make some positive long-term adjustments. Anxiety, too, can motivate us in situations. It can be beneficial at certain times like when we’re playing competitive sports, or we have an important test. In such cases, a little bit of anxiety works as an incentive toward achieving success. Finally, anxiety can serve as a warning that we are in danger. It makes us alert and makes us react so we can stay safe. It’s not always a bad thing!

But for some of us, it can get to a point wherein it is disrupting our daily lives and causing us upset. And that’s when we want to consider reaching out for support.

Does Anxiety Treatment Work?

Yes, anxiety is very treatable.

Unfortunately, currently only about 39% of those who struggle with anxiety get help. That doesn’t have to be you! Help is available and we have tons of research to show it works! I can personally and professionally assure you that things really can be better.

If you’re dealing with anxiety there is no need to continue to struggle. Therapy and counseling with a licensed mental health counselor has been shown to be highly effective in helping manage anxious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Anxiety no longer has to be overwhelming. Really and truly!

Sure, you might still experience some worry now and again. I think it can actually increase our stress and anxiety if we build up an expectation that we will never feel any anxiety again - remember, you’re okay and it’s normal to have some worry and anxiety. You shouldn’t expect to never have any anxiety whatsoever again - that just wouldn’t be realistic because, remember, anxiety is a normal human emotion which actually can sometimes be helpful. So we don’t want to chase an impossible goal - that will just exacerbate our anxiety!

But anxiety should not get in the way of your daily functioning. It should not prevent you from achieving goals and living a happy life. It should not prevent you from enjoying deep personal and intimate relationship with others. When anxiety does really get in the way (at work, at home, with friends and family, with your partner) then it’s time to take action and find support.

What can anxiety treatment do for you? Common outcomes include the following:

• You can feel more in control - anxiety will have less power over you.

• You can become a better self-regulator.

• You can become more skilled at calming yourself down.

• You can increase your self-awareness which will improve your confidence and clarity.

• You can feel more comfortable with other people and in more situations.

• You can feel less reliant on others for their reassurance.

• You can become less worried about avoiding conflict (something that maybe keeps you isolated now).

• You can achieve an internal shift wherein you no longer constantly automatically react but instead are able to consciously respond.

• You can gain enhanced emotional maturity.

• When problems do arise you can learn to approach them with heightened curiosity rather than worry, allowing you to communicate more effectively and to be more thoughtful in how you respond.

• You can be okay when things don’t go your way.

How Will Counseling Help My Anxiety?

There are multiple ways in which therapy can assist you in learning to manage your anxiety.

• A therapist can help you develop healthier coping skills. If you’re struggling, you may lack good coping skills and perhaps rely on some faulty ones (binge eating, overworking, spending countless hours streaming movies, etc.) to get you by.

• In counseling, you can begin to define what you genuinely value. When you’re anxious you might spend a lot of time worrying about what others think. You might even tend to pretend you’re someone you’re not because you believe you won’t be accepted for who you really are. Letting go of anxiety means embracing your genuine self and means gaining the confidence to actually be your self. People might still judge you, but you’ll be better able to manage those situations.

• You’ll learn that you aren’t a mind reader or fortune teller. When you have anxiety you tend to guess what people are thinking. In counseling you’ll become aware of this habit and you’ll become better at asking people what they think instead of making random guesses. You’ll also work on your tendency to expect “worst case scenarios” - you’ll learn to recognize when you’re making (often wild and improbable) predictions about the future and learn to settle into a more reasonable manageable reality.

• Therapy can also assist you in increasing your awareness around what triggers your anxiety. Is your anxiety triggered by certain people? By certain places? Do certain events or circumstances set you off? Knowing triggers can be a starting point for making needed changes.

• Also, in therapy you’ll have an opportunity to change how you think. While we might blame external factors for causing our anxiety, much of the distress we experience is actually the result of our thoughts. This is why some people take stuff in stride and others, in the same scenario, have a much harder go of it.

  You interpret the world around you in your own unique way. If you have anxiety, you maybe tend to jump to the worst case scenario as your default. Your thoughts might actually tend to be irrational and distorted. During counseling, we will work together to help you become more aware of your thoughts, using mindfulness techniques, for example, to increase your insight (because if you aren’t aware of what is hurting you, then it won’t be easy to change it). And then, we will use proven therapeutic techniques which will change the way you experience the world. You’ll discover greater peace and know how to maintain it. You will control your thoughts instead of allowing negative cognitions to overwhelm you.