The Ways An Abusive Relationship Might Positively Benefit Your Future Relationships
The effects of an abusive relationship, whether the abuse was physical and/or emotional, can be quite profound. The experience of living in an abusive relationship will have short-term consequences, as well as a long-term lasting impact. It not only knocks you off your feet in the present, but it also tends to permanently change you in many, many ways. In the immediate, it can trigger self-doubt, confusion, fears, and shame. Over time, it will perhaps lead to the development of PTSD, intense anxiety, and severe depression. You might struggle to trust yourself and your own judgment. You will likely have a difficult time trusting others. You might become more avoidant and notice you feel on edge nearly all the time. You could find yourself feeling numb and checking out or you could, too, notice anger. Your physical health could also take a huge hit. It’s not unusual for headaches to begin occurring, or for there to be issues with chronic pain, cancer, and autoimmune concerns.
The abuse does not just linger in the moment, it deeply reverberates on a near constant basis for a seemingly never-ending length of time. It turns into a soul crushing wound, an injury you can’t seem to shake.
But, as you seek to begin moving forward, the abuse can guide you in ways which can be incredibly valuable.
Emotional Caution
While it will take you much longer to be vulnerable with someone, the good news is that it will take you longer so that you really take the time to truly get to know them. Even if you were never the sort to rush into things, you will notice it takes more time to trust the other person. This slowing down can be beneficial as you will build trust more gradually and increase the probability of partnering with someone who is actually emotionally safety. Only time tells you who a person actually is. So it’s better to go slow and really get to know who they are.
More Awareness of Red Flags
While previously you maybe knew some of the red flags to look out for, now you have a master level ninja-like capacity to see the warning signs. The small things won’t get past you anymore. You aren’t going to compromise or overlook the things you once did. You are now much more attuned to the things which will be problematic long-term. You will notice more warning signs and you will see them much faster. This increases your level of discernment.
Better Boundaries
You now know what is or is not acceptable to you in a partner and in a relationship. You have solidified your boundaries far more and you will not compromise if someone is not willing to respect them. You will advocate for your needs more. There will be more awareness for you in terms of what you’ll tolerate and so you will be able to end things sooner when you notice them crossing boundaries you have set in place for yourself.
A Better Understanding of What a Healthy Relationship Actually Looks Like
You have taken a master class in what love should not look like. You’re committed to never doing that again. So, your standards and expectations are now higher. This means you will be able to develop a relationship which is much deeper and much more meaningful. This is something you can continue to build on. An abusive relationship can lead to you educating yourself more fully in regards to what a healthy partner looks like, and how to really have a lasting, genuinely healthy, sustainable, abuse-free partnership. You don’t know until you know! And now you certainly know more than ever. You carry some invaluable lessons and this opens up the potential for a love that looks much better than you ever imagined.