Navigating the Holiday Party Season When You Struggle with Food

The holiday season can be a time of wonderment and joy. If you have an eating disorder, it can also be a time filled with challenges. There’s the Christmas cookie exchange at your office. And the plates full of cookies well-meaning friends and family gift to you. There’s the work Christmas party. And the gift basket of food your boss gives you. And don’t forget the bowl of chocolates sitting out in the office kitchen. Further, it seems every which way you turn there’s a buffet table full of goodies and delights.

You might be feeling a little worn down at the mere thought of it. Avoiding a binge seems near impossible in the face of all this food, particularly because you know that when the urge to binge eat strikes, your rational mind seems to vanish, and the binge urge take over. It’s as if the binge is just uncontrollably happening to you.

None of the aforementioned scenarios are bad. A work party can be fun and a festive, overflowing gift basket can be a welcomed gesture. Nor are any of the foods bad. Cookies can taste amazing. And cake? Mmmmm!!! Don’t forget some creamy eggnog!

Instead, however, the situations and the foods seem to turn on a compulsive component within you when you’re struggling with food and your body in general. You begin to feel as if you’re unable to avoid overeating and that it isn’t a conscious choice. It just seems to happen, and you can’t manage to avoid it. One minute you’re admiring a beautiful display of colorfully decorated Christmas cookies, and the next you’re wiping gobs of cookie crumbs off your chin, overcome with feelings of shame and regret, not to mention a painful belly ache.

Then, too, there’s resolution season looming in the distance. There might be that little voice within whispering to you “go ahead and binge now, you’ll start fresh on a new diet after the new year.” It’s just more pressure to give in to those urges!

But things don’t have to play out this way. The holidays can be a season of good cheer rather than a time filled with worry and a constant feeling of being disappointed with yourself.

 Here are some tips as we move into the season of Christmas parties and their tables full of treats:

Beware the Leftovers

Perhaps you’re the party hostess. Sometimes, it’s the cleanup, when all the guests have departed, which can trip you up. If you’re afraid you’ll have a hard time resisting a binge while you’re cleaning up, then ask someone to be there to help you or get others to do all the work for you. Consider wrapping up items and sending leftovers home with attendees or plan to give them to a homeless shelter. If there are items still lingering and it’s stressing you, then don’t hesitate to toss them down the garbage disposal or lock them away someplace hard to get to.

With that said, beware of the set up and cooking, too. Being alone during these activities opens an opportunity for overeating. Again, you can get others to do these things for you. Or you can invite someone to be there with you. Consider sharing with them that you’re trying to avoiding snacking and nibbling on anything during the prep so that they can be more assistive to you (you don’t have to share all the details of your situation if you’re not comfortable doing so).

If you’re a guest, think about whether bringing home leftovers will be problematic. There’s not a right or wrong choice here. You know yourself best. Will you be okay with the food in your home or could it trigger a binge? If in doubt, leave it behind. Thank your host and decline the offer of any leftovers.

Resist the Office Candy Dish

Go nuts with decorations and skip leaving a dish of candy on your desk. Keeping a potential trigger food at arms reach is a temptation which could eventually get the best of you. If you do decide to bring something to work, place it out of easy reach (you’d have to stand up and walk to access it). This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a piece of candy, rather you just don’t need it close by all day (it would be hard for most people to resist when it’s right in front of them for hours and days on end).

Eat Regular Meals and Snacks

You’re more likely to give in and binge eat if you’re ravenous. Keep yourself satisfied and try to have something to eat every three to four hours. If you allow yourself to become too hungry, it’s nearly inevitable that you’ll overeat.

Don’t Try to Sample Everything

Decide to have some loving, kind boundaries with yourself. Take a plate and make note of all your options. Decide what you genuinely want. Pick a few items that really appeal to you. Add those to your plate and enjoy them. Sit down and eat slowly. Savor the taste, texture, and smells. Remember that food is plentiful. There’s always opportunities to try new things, either by cooking from a recipe or going out to eat. You don’t have to eat it all at once.

Careful with the Alcohol

Decide ahead of time how much you’ll drink. Keep in mind that too much alcohol raises your risk for a binge (as well as a nasty hangover).

You Don’t Have to Linger

Show up and say hello. There’s no rule stating you are required to stay for any particular length of time. If you’re stressed being in the situation, make your appearance and then quietly depart after greeting a few special-to-you people.

You Don’t Even Have to Go

Pick and choose where you want to go and how you want to spend your time. Consider the pros and cons of going versus skipping an event. Recognize that deciding to not go might mean disappointing some people. Do what feels best in order to keep your sanity.

Don’t Rely on Resolutions

It’s an easy trap to fall into – you decide you’ll set an ambitious goal for the new year and then you use that as excuse to binge eat in the meantime. Right now (not later) is the time to be kind toward yourself and part of that means caring for your health and well-being. This doesn’t mean being extreme. It means setting small goals and taking small steps toward healing. Decide before you attend the party that you’ll enjoy some treats consciously, with awareness and intention, but will not binge on them.

 Shift Away from All or Nothing Thoughts and Behaviors

Maybe you consumed a handful of chocolates. It doesn’t mean everything is ruined and it doesn’t mean you need to then binge on cookies, eggnog, and cupcakes. ‘Whelp! I ruined everything, might as well go all in now!’

Bingeing isn’t your only option here so stop yourself from going down that road. Take a deep inhale through your nose. Pause for a moment. Get some clarity on what happened. Did you consciously decide to eat chocolates, or did you end up at the candy bowl because you were stressed out? If it was unintentional, try to accept that this sort of stuff happens. It’s okay. Forgive yourself and recognize that while you can’t change what is done, you do have full control over what you do next. You can make a purposeful shift and it doesn’t have to turn into a binge.

Enjoy People Over Food

Food is absolutely pleasurable and it’s fine to enjoy it. But if you struggle with binge eating, the abundance of goodies present during the holiday season can be stressful. It can help if you refocus and decide that you’re going to pay more attention to those around you. What topics will you discuss with them? Maybe you’ll try to chat with two new people at the party you’re going to.

Enlist Support

Find yourself a support person. Let them know you’re afraid you might binge and ask if you can lean on them for added help. They don’t need to be in attendance – they can be available by phone and text message.

Take Breaks and Move Away from the Food

Periodically step away from all the action. Dip into the bathroom and do some deep breathing. Get outside and enjoy some fresh air. Chat with people in an area not filled with food.

If you do binge . . . .

Have some compassion for yourself. Overcoming disordered eating is a process. It takes time and effort. Even just being mindful of wanting to try to avoid bingeing is a positive step. Allow yourself the grace to keep trying. Being angry toward yourself won’t change what’s already done and won’t help anything (it’ll probably just make you feel even worse). See if there’s any lessons you might learn from your experience. Then forgive yourself and move on.