Seven Tips for Quitting Binge Eating

Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is a very common problem nowadays. In fact, it is currently the most common eating disorder in the U.S. Approximately 2.8 million people throughout the country struggle with BED (potentially it’s a whole lot more since many people don’t feel comfortable sharing that they binge eat). It’s actually more common than anorexia and bulimia combined. If you think you might need help with binge eating, know that you are far from alone. Struggling with binge eating is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

So why is this happening to you? And what can you do about it?

Why do you Binge Eat?

The short answer to why you might be struggling with binge eating is that it’s complicated. There can be a multitude of factors at play if you find yourself binge eating including physiological reasons, environmental factors, social components, nutritional reasons, emotional drivers, genetic predispositions, trauma history, etc. Which ones will be relevant for you will, of course, vary since your life circumstances, personality, biology, and history are unlike that of anyone else.

You are a complex individual comprised of an elaborate system with so many things influencing you, both in the present as well as from the past. Keep in mind that just because you binge eat it does not mean you are broken or that there is something wrong with you. Binge eating is a symptom which is alerting you to pay more attention - your brain and body are just letting you know that something (probably multiple somethings) isn’t quite right. It’s like your internal alarm is going off and asking you to step in and make some changes.

So essentially, there is no singular reason why every person binge eats - and thus it follows that is no singular solution. You maybe had hoped there would exist some sole fix, but don’t lose heart! Because binge eating is something which can be resolved. (It actually has a really good recovery rate!!) It’s simply that, like most things in life, there isn’t just one particular magical remedy. Also, what works for one person may not be the solution for someone else - again because we are so wonderfully complex and different. And, too, you might have already learned that fast won gains typically don’t last.

In this case, with binge eating, there are a whole bunch of things which do help. There are lots of tools which you can place in your toolbox - and it will be the combination of a multitude of things which will guide you forward toward leaving binge eating behind. Working with a licensed mental health therapist is one proven option - and a therapist will be able to assist you with employing various effectual techniques, will provide you with assistive educational information which will empower you in your healing process, and will, too, be a supportive teammate with you through the expected ups or downs of your recovery. Self-help is great, but there is often nothing like having a partner by your side to guide you and to help you if you hit a bump in the road.

But What Can You Do to Stop Binge Eating?

(that is what you want to know, after all!)

Binge Eating Disorder, as noted, is a complex phenomenon that requires a multi-faceted, personalized approach if it is to be successfully overcome. There are some tips (shared below) which you might find helpful as you begin your recovery. These are intended to be just a generalized starting point.

It’s important to emphasize again that there is not a quick fix, particularly because individuals on the internet, along with social media influencers, will aggressively and relentlessly attempt to persuade you otherwise. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who want to separate you from your money by way of a pre-packaged “fast” and/or “easy” program (it could be a brief online coaching option, an app, a book, a webinar, etc.). This is certainly not true in all cases, but I encourage you to be wary and discerning. These alternatives can be tempting, particularly when you are in pain and desperately wanting a solution. It’s common to fall for them when we’re hurting and want better for ourselves.

All told, it’s critical to keep in mind that many of these choices are ineffectual, some may make the problem worse, and others, while seemingly helpful at first, end up being band-aid fixes which eventually lead you to relapse. You perhaps have already worked with coaches, nutrition “experts” and trainers who assured you they could help - and they either didn’t help at all, or actually made things more challenging for you.

That said, please know that true healing and recovery is entirely possible but it will take time, effort, and likely won’t be a smooth linear process. Recovery, if it is to be successful and lasting, entails understanding patterns, shifting attitudes and thought processes, adjusting behaviors, learning coping skills, understanding nutrition, downregulating the nervous system, altering expectations, healing trauma (both major traumas as well as the smaller traumas we experience but often don’t realize have impacted us deeply) and so forth. Your recovery might include all or some of these things.

Your binge eating recovery ideally will be individualized to meet your needs and will address your unique circumstances. A trained mental health therapist, for example, will be able to work with you to address the binge eating behavior, will help you address root causes, and can facilitate putting in place a manageable recovery maintenance plan.

Seven Tips to Help You Get Started with Stopping Binge Eating

While treatment is more complex than a simple ‘do these three simple steps and you’ll be better’ program, there are some general tips which you might find assistive if you are battling binge eating. This isn’t a list of easy changes you can make that will result in an instantaneous, positive, permanent transformation. Remember, binge eating is complicated issue and it’s not that you just haven’t found the easy steps to fix it or that you just have been too weak willed to knock it off. So don’t get upset if these tips don’t immediately “cure” you.

At first glance, some of these tips might seem relatively useless. You first reaction might be “this won’t work for me.” If you think that’s the case, I encourage you to be open to experimenting. Be willing to give it a try for at least a few days. If what you have been doing has not worked, perhaps it is time to do something different.

1. Be Compassionately Curious – an important part of the healing process involves increasing awareness. Imagine yourself as an investigator on the scene trying to better understand what is happening. Explore and see if there is anything you might learn. Reflect on what emotions you’re experiencing and what behaviors you’re engaging in. What are you thinking about before and during a binge episode? What are you doing before and during the binge? Do you binge eat at certain times of the day? Are there certain experiences or emotions which trigger a binge for you? Do you always binge right when you get home from work or anytime you are home alone? What happened right before you binged? Are you able to notice any patterns? You first want to have a good sense of what is going on for you if you eventually want to make changes. We cannot change what we don’t acknowledge. As you seek to increase your insight focus on withholding any critical judgment. Try to stay calm and neutral during your fact finding mission. We are just trying to become more conscious.

2. Consider if it’s Helpful – when thoughts start popping into your mind, and you start reacting to events, ask yourself ‘is this helpful’? If you binge ate yesterday, for example, is it helpful to you if you spend the entire next day beating yourself up about it? Is it helpful if you tell yourself that it’s a definite sign that you’re just hopeless and won’t ever recover? This follows with the first tip – try to be more compassionately curious, less harshly judgmental. Hating on yourself does not encourage healing – usually it just makes things worse. See what you notice - how do you talk to yourself and is it actually beneficial? Think of speaking to yourself as a very young child - if that young version of yourself was upset would you want to soothe them by telling them you know they’re simply reacting to pain or would it help more to berate them?

3. Spill Your Thoughts and Feelings Onto the Page – try journaling. You don’t have to write a perfect entry that is a grammatically correct work of art. Just spill out whatever comes up. You don’t have to use full sentences. You can swear and say whatever the heck you please. It doesn’t even need to be legible (if you hand write it). Get all the mess out of your head, out of your heart, and onto the page. Delete it or throw it away when you’re done – nobody ever has to know what you wrote. You don’t even have to read it. The intent is to avoid stuffing it all down inside you. Whatever we suppress will show up later if it isn’t acknowledged and dealt with. Are there any feelings that you’ve been trying really hard not to feel? Write them out. Perhaps you have a hard time even knowing what you feel – write about that and what you think about that struggle. There is no right or wrong way to do this. You can write about anything.

4. Recognize that All Foods are Okay – there are no good or bad foods. Sure, different foods have different nutrients. But there really, truly is room for you to have broccoli and also to enjoy a cookie. There is certainly value and necessity in ensuring your nutritional needs get met to assist with overall health (both physical and mental). However, being healthfully balanced means eating foods that are good for your body in addition to foods that are just fun for your soul. If you’ve made certain foods forbidden you may find that eventually you simply can’t resist them any longer. In other words, it can contribute to binge eating in some cases. Begin thinking about living a life wherein all foods really can fit. Sometimes if we tell ourselves we cannot have a certain food, that becomes the one thing we want most.

5.  Fully Embrace and Appreciate that this Can be a Complex Issue Which Requires Time and Patience to Overcome – it’s easy to get stressed out when we are not getting better according to a certain prescribed timeline. Or if we believe binge eating is something with a simple solution. Trust that you are not binge eating because you’re too lazy, incompetent, or just lack sufficient willpower. None of that is true! Remember that a binge episode is a symptom - it’s a sign that your brain and body are giving you to let you know there is something amiss which needs your attention. There might be some proven recovery facts which you can follow as part of your healing, but that does not negate that we also have emotions, too - and a binge is sometimes how those emotions show up for us. Don’t pressure yourself to try and resolve this in a practical way as by doing so you may miss all the feelings which are involved – the feelings which make you a deeply, beautifully nuanced human being. You can’t make a flower bloom faster just because you gave it the ideal amount of water and sunlight. It blooms when it is ready to bloom. Likewise with your brain and body – give yourself what is needed but realize that change happens organically and cannot be forced. Extend grace to yourself. 

6.  Go Slow – your brain and body do not like big, fast changes. Change can be perceived by your system as a threat, even if you logically know it is good and well-intentioned. Slow and steady is more likely to result in lasting change. We all want pain to go away fast. But play the long game as it is more effectual and tends to stick better over the long haul. Also, you may find that, over time, it is much easier to handle small adjustments than to try to do all the things all at once. Think of walking for five or ten minutes versus trying to immediately run a marathon - you need to walk before you run!

7. Don’t Expect Yourself to be Perfect – we are all human, we all mess up, and that’s okay. Perfect just isn’t possible. Recovery is full of ups and downs. Some days you take a leap forward, and other days you may stumble backwards and fall hard. Just keep showing up and do what you can do. (It might help to get added support if you’re struggling with determining what is realistic versus what is perfectionism.) Understand that you can achieve wonderful, remarkable things and you don’t have to be perfect to do it. You will stumble along the way. Expect it. It’s part of being human! There are days where you will make progress, and days where you will just need to go slower and take a rest. Also, don’t discount small steps forward. Yes, big, dramatic steps ahead are exciting. But a whole lot of small moves will still propel you forward (and they are usually easier to achieve).

This list is far from exhaustive and is just meant to give you some initial ideas to help you on your journey. What could possibly be one of the most important things to keep in mind as you begin moving toward being recovered is to believe. Believe that you can heal.