Guiding Principles to Follow When You Are Standing for Your Marriage

If you have chosen to be faithful to the vows you took, and if your spouse broke their commitment and departed from the marriage, the following are some guidelines to consider adhering to. God is always FOR marriage and unity. Satan hates marriage and will do everything possible to get you to give up your stand and likewise abandon your covenant. This is truly a spiritual battle. But . . . God is on your side. He is always for restoration of that original marriage covenant which He assures is only broken through death.

As we engage in spiritual warfare and stand in the gap waiting for our spouses to turn back to Christ, we must have principles to guide us as we fight for restoration. We are fighting spiritual forces and standing for our spouse’s salvation. With that in mind . . . .

Don’t be like everyone else in the world. The world is full of foolish and unloving advice. Many people are unfortunately following the narrow path. Be set apart. Be willing to be different. Be willing to truly obey the words of Christ when it comes to staying committed till death do you part. (Rom. 16:17) (1 Pet 3:15-16)

If your partner speaks and behaves with hatred and anger do not respond in the same way. Do not be unkind. Avoid being irritable. Stay calm and loving. (Luke 6:27-28) (Eph 4:31-32)

Do not present your spouse with any ultimatums. Love does not seek to threaten and control. We should not exert our will over our spouse. Love does not use fear based tactics nor does it try to manipulate. (Prov 24:29) (Rom 12:17-21)

Remind yourself continually that what your prodigal spouse says isn’t really them but is instead the enemy who has managed to get into their hearts and minds. They have turned from God and are temporarily deceived. It is not them who is speaking. (2 Cor 4:3-4)

What you see in front of you might look bad. Really bad. But keep in mind that what you are seeing happening in the Natural means very little in terms of what is taking place in the Supernatural. Jesus wants to save your spouse as much as you do. Jesus loves them too and will not cease to pursue them and pull them back to His word. And Jesus can do ALL things. (Eph 6:12)

The unfortunate reality is that most prodigals will blame the entire failed relationship on you and what they feel you’ve done wrong. Love does not cast blame. It is hard to not personalize their attacks. Understand the accusations are common. (1 Pet 3:14) 

The majority of prodigals will be adamant that they never loved you and/or that they are never coming back. These are lies coming from the enemy who has deceived them. (Eph 5:6)

Understand that many prodigals do come back to God and their marriages. God will keep pursuing and is never okay with losing even one. In seeking reconciliation and restored marriage, God is on your side. He wants it just as much (or more) than you do. (Luke 15:11-21) (Hos 2:9)

Know that reconciled marriages tend to be happier in comparison to those that have never struggled. Trials can build endurance and strength. Restored marriages can be better than either spouse ever believed was possible. Commitment and reconciliation are signs of a heart turned towards Jesus. And a person with a heart turned to God is going to show up for their spouse in amazing ways. (Rom 11:15)

Remember that “divorce” and “remarriage” never solve problems. These things are never the answer. Instead, they only produce new problems. Second marriages fail at an even much higher rate. Further, God does not recognize remarriage as He proclaims only death ends the marriage covenant. Many want to ease their conscious by ignoring this and skipping that part of their Bible. Yet, His word stands.

Always take accountability and apologize if you have done or said something wrong. (Matt 5:23)

Pray for your spouse without ceasing. Never stop calling to God for help. (1 Thes 5: 17)

Be forgiving. (Col 3:13)

Love endlessly. (1 Pet 4:8-9)

Stand strong and firm. Decide that you will NEVER give up on your spouse or your marriage. Decide you will have faith and know that with God all things are possible. God hates divorce. But God created marriage and calls us to love and reconciliation. He is part of your covenant. Keep calling to Him.